


Avoidance | Tronnor

by literallyyoutube



Category: tronnor - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, literallyyoutube, tronnor oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallyyoutube/pseuds/literallyyoutube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How long had I been crushing on Troye? Maybe since I met him, no matter how much I had tried to suppress my feelings for him. I hated him for making me feel this way. There would be no way Troye Sivan could ever have anything more than platonic feelings for me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avoidance | Tronnor

**Connor's POV:**

Our last day in Italy came so fast, and I was definitely disappointed. It wasn't often that I got to see all my youtube friends. It was sad, really, how the majority of my friends and best friends lived so far from me. LA is supposed to be the place where everyone is, yet I felt so alone. Don't get me wrong, I definitely had great friends with me in LA, but I still couldn't help but feel like most of my best friends were so far. Okay fine, I'm trying to get at the fact that I missed Troye. Troye Sivan, my best friend. My best friend. That's it. Nothing more; but oh do I wish it was so much more. How long had I been crushing on Troye? Maybe since I met him, no matter how much I had tried to suppress my feelings for him. When I came out to him, his reaction was everything I needed at that point. The moment he grabbed me into his comforting embrace, I knew I was fucked. I hated it. I hated every moment that he made me heart ache. I hated him for making me feel this way. Yet at the same time, I longed for the sparks that flew through my arm whenever he accidentally bumped into me. I loved the sound of his voice that made my mind fuzzy.

It was almost as if he knew what he was doing to me, torturing me every single day. Only a couple days ago, he fed me a pizza that he had bought. A simple interaction, no? Well, not to my head-over-heels mind. Apparently, I hadn't made my feelings for him private, because Zoe found out. She had said to me, and I quote, "Oh Con, you should have seen the color of your face when he offered to share his umbrella with you!" Zoe then spent no time spreading the word to the rest of our friends, making it their mission to get us together. An impossible task indeed. There would be no way Troye Sivan could ever have anything more than platonic feelings for me. However, my friends were having none of it, and arranged for me to sit next to him on the plane. "Coincidentally" pairing us in the row of seats near the rest of our friends so they could spy on us. Dickheads.

We were currently waiting at the gate for our plane to be called. I was trying my best to avoid Troye; I don't really know why. Surely the last thing I would want to do is ignore my crush, right? But, I can't risk embarrassing myself any more. Besides, being stuck on a plane with him gives me plenty of chances to embarrass myself; don't worry. I thought of it as escaping danger, and Troye was dangerous. I don't mean in the rough in tough kind of way, but his eyes entranced you, and I couldn't help but be pulled in by them. Once in, there's no way out (not exactly a bad thing though, right?). My problem: I was sure he didn't return my feelings. I just knew it. Call me stubborn, but, I was sure.

While the rest of the crew was conversing, I stayed mostly to myself, with my earphones in, tapping my foot to the beat. Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see Joe standing behind me. I gingerly took out my earphones, to which he mentioned that they called for our plane, with a smirk. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks, and lightly shoved him, before following everyone on their way to the plane. I immediately felt my heart rate increase as I felt the cool air of the plane hit my face, knowing that there was no way out of this. I don't think Troye knew that we were sitting next to each other, not that it would really make a big difference to him anyways. Settling into my seat, I inwardly groaned at the confinement of having no room to move. I could already tell that this plane ride was going to feel like much longer than two hours. The only upside to this was that I had a window seat, and I remembered to bring a comfy blanket. I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't consider being placed next to Troye an upside. Maybe if I close my eyes, he'll think I'm asleep, and won't bother interacting with me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone sit next to me. Too late.

"Hey Con!" an angelic voice sounded next to my ear. I turned my head to look at him. Oh fuck him. Of course, he had to wear his hair down in it's crazy curly form. Of course, he had to wear the cutest sweater. Of course, he had to be so sweet.

"Hey," I responded quietly.

Troye frowned slightly, before straightening back up. "I don't think anyone is sitting in the third seat, so we don't have to worry about room." I debated on asking him to move over a seat, then, to keep some distance from him, but decided against it, not wanting to be rude. Thankfully, Troye put in his headphones, and leaned back into his seat, closing his eyes. I let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding, not being able to take my eyes from his face. I never had the chance to fully examine his face in person (but I refuse to admit I do so when I watch his videos). He was beautiful in every aspect: his birthmark, his curly hair, his button nostrils. A cough sounded near, breaking my trance. I looked up to see most of my friends smirking at me, giving me a knowing look, causing me to bashfully hide myself under my blanket. Thankfully they didn't say anything that would cause him to open his eyes and see me. I sighed, and closed my eyes, hoping that I could actually fall asleep for the majority of this ride. It was almost soothing, the way the plane bumped on it's take off, the occasional turbulence, the sight outside the window. Unfortunately, not soothing enough to make me forget that my crush was sitting next to me, preventing me from being able to fall asleep. Was it possible for me to hate someone, but love them so much at the same time? I hated him for the heart aches he made me feel, yet they felt like home. The smell of him was intoxicating. It hurt to breathe it in, yet I did it anyways. I loved the way he made me hurt. A weight hit my shoulder, snapping me out of my deep thoughts, making my eyes fly open involuntarily. Well, there goes my plan to pretend being asleep. I cast my eyes downward discreetly to confirm that is was, indeed, Troye who had placed his head on my shoulder, eyes still trained on his phone. I heard Zoe and Joe stifle a giggle from behind me. Goddammit. Why were they so intent on ruining my life. My shoulders remained tense, not relaxing, no matter how hard I tried. A text message flashed onto my screen:  _Zoe: Con, relaxxxxx._ I held in a scream of frustration towards my friends. Still, I remained motionless, in the small hope that Troye would just assume that I'm asleep. But, no luck. I have no fucking luck.

"Con," I heard him whisper, feeling him lightly poke my arm. Even that simple touch and use of that nickname caused my butterflies to multiply.

"Yeah?" I whispered in response.

"Is it okay if I lift this arm rest up? It's kind of uncomfortable," he trailed off, as if embarrassed. I silently nodded, seeing his answering grin. A part of me was disappointed when he lifted his head from my shoulder; but I suppose it was what I wanted, wasn't it? I leaned away slightly, to give him room to pull the armrest up, before feeling his hands grip my arms, softly pulling me back towards him. He then placed his head back onto my shoulder, nuzzling it further into my neck. Fuck, who am I kidding? I did not want this moment to end at all. I shifted, bringing my legs up onto the seat, allowing us to sit in a more comfortable position. I could practically feel the surprise radiating off of Troye, him not expecting me to respond to his cuddle. Heck, I was surprised too, as if my body was moving on its own accord. I rested my head atop his, and draped my arm across his side, feeling his head shift down to rest on my chest. I just prayed that he wouldn't be able to hear how fast my heart was beating. His curly hair slightly tickled my cheek, to which the blood rushed to as I felt him play absentmindedly with the hem of my sweater. I definitely did not imagine that I would be cuddling with Troye on this plane, when my initial intention was the complete opposite, but hey, I'll take it. I realized that I had subconsciously moved my hands to his hair, running my fingers gently through his curls; but he didn't seem to mind, so I didn't make a move to stop. As the time went on, my eyelids began to droop, mind becoming fuzzy with sleep, despite how hard I had found it to fall asleep earlier. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist, before a wave of sleep overtook me.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"Connie," I felt someone lightly poke my cheek, giggling. I knew that voice. My eyes flew open to see Zoe leaning over me, with a knowing look on my face, confusing me to say the least. Why was she looking at me like that? Oh. Looking down, I saw Troye sleeping like a little kitten, the memories of a while ago coming back to me. Throughout our sleep, we had somehow shifted to us laying completely down. Troye was shifted a bit further down, head curled up in my chest, his arms still wrapped around my waist. Our legs had somehow tangled together, and we were squished tightly together, due to the lack of room on the seats...not that I was complaining. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks, as I looked back up at Zoe. I shook my head at her, wordlessly informing her that nothing had happened between us besides some friendly cuddling.

She frowned in sympathy. "We're going to land in about fifteen minutes, so you'd better wake up sleeping beauty," she laughed slightly, before heading back to her seat. I didn't want to disturb Troye. He looked so peaceful as he slept, mouth slightly open. But, I decided waking him up would be better, compared to the alternative of carrying him through the airport.

I lightly ran my fingers through his hair, in an attempt to wake him up. When that didn't work, I lightly poked his cheek. "Tro," I whispered. He whined in response, eyelids flickering slightly, before nuzzling his head further into my chest, tightening his grip on my waist. Oh what this boy does to me. "Tro, you need to get up now; we're landing soon." I pushed the hair out of his forehead, playing with his hair until he woke up. Finally, his eyes fluttered open, intensely staring in to my eyes. I cleared my throat, forcing myself to look away from his hypnotizing blue eyes. Troye sat up slowly in response, which I would be lying if I said I wasn't the slightest bit disheartened. He raised his arms above his head, yawning, causing his shirt to ride up, sending my heart fluttering in response.

"Are we there yet?" he questioned in a tired voice. I nodded in response, not trusting my words to help me in this situation. " _Wait. No we're not,_ " I realized as he began to stand up, finally snapping out of my trance, I shook my head, him tilting his head in confusion in response.

"Um, in like fifteen minutes."

He nodded and plopped back down with a huff, wrapping his arms around my waist and snuggling into me again. I wasted no time in returning the gesture this time. I felt a pang in my heart, knowing this was all platonic, and it would never be more.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

You know what's weird? When you have that bang of sudden realization; and oh boy did it hit me hard. Almost as soon as I stepped out of the plane, my mindset seemed to revert back to the way it was before. Holy shit. What had I just done on the plane? I had flat out just cuddled with Troye, when my initial plan was to avoid him at all costs. Almost immediately, I carried on avoiding him like before. No matter how much I tried not to, it just seemed automatic to start avoiding Troye again. However, it made the car ride to Zoe's apartment  _very_ awkward. We were both sitting in the back, and he decided to rest his head on my shoulder again. I stayed tense for the whole ride, but thankfully, he decided not to move his head. Even though I was trying to avoid him, I couldn't exactly complain to him cuddling me. I just couldn't risk returning the favor, knowing I would do something more to embarrass myself. Besides, Zoe was sitting in the front seat, and I definitely could not have her bothering me about more cuddling my whole visit. I think I was being quite subtle about avoiding him though. Right now, I was sitting on the couch with Zoe, both of us just scrolling through twitter, while Troye was in the guest room, unpacking.

"Connor! Could you come here?" I heard Troye shout. I snapped my head to Zoe, looking at her with wide eyes, her responding with a quiet 'go' to me. I quickly shook my head in disagreement. Before I knew it, I was being hauled to the guest room, and softly shoved in there, all without Troye noticing. He looked up to see me, and stood up.

"Connor Franta, are you avoiding me?" he questioned, crossing his arms, almost in amusement. Well, so much for being subtle.

I cast my eyes downward. "No," I mumbled.

"I think you are." He took a step towards me. I shook my head in refusal.

"Connor," he spoke. Another step.

I looked up slightly, "I'm not avoiding you Troye."

He sighed in response. "Are you okay Con? You know you can tell me anything, right?" I nodded in response.

"Did I do something wrong?" he questioned. There he goes again, always thinking of others. Always being so sweet. He's done the complete opposite of wrong, being the fucking angel he is. He has been so kind and supportive. So gorgeous. And it's been hell. Yes. He did ruin my life. Again, I wordlessly shook my head. He sighed again, almost seeming frustrated.

"Why are you getting frustrated?" I questioned, my feeling of vulnerableness showing in my voice.

"I'm not," he sighed, running his hand through his hair, irritated.

"Yes you are," my voice unconsciously raising.

"Well how would you feel if your best friend was avoiding you and didn't tell you anything, even though you knew something was bothering them?!" He was full on yelling now.

"For the last time Troye,  _I am not avoiding you_!  _I am fine_." I balled my hands up in fists.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that, Connor!"

I looked him straight in the eye, and opened my mouth to repeat my words—but, I couldn't do it. It wasn't true. I was avoiding him, and I was not fine.

I growled in frustration, balling my fists so hard I could feel my nails dig into my palms. "God _damnit_  Troye! Fine, I am avoiding you. I am not okay. Yes. You have ruined my life. You have sent me to hell and back. You with your fucking dumb smile, and your blue eyes. With-with your stupid laugh, and curly hair, and stupid angelic voice. Can't you see Troye? I am crazy about you. My life would be so much simpler if it wasn't for you. Looking at you makes my heart ache. I dream of cuddling you and hugging the shit out of you everyday. But the thing is, I love the pain. I long the heart palpitations you give me. I crave the feeling of my stomach so full with butterflies to the point that it hurts. So, yes Troye. Fuck you, but thank you." I could hear my voice crack through the yelling. Not being able to say any more without flat out crying, I hurried to the door—not even looking at Troye's face—and turned the knob; it was locked. "Goddamnit Zoe!" I kicked the door in frustration, soon giving up hope. I turned around, immediately met with the face of Troye Sivan no more than 5 inches from mine. Before I could tell him to back off, I was engulfed in a tight hug.

"What are you-"

"Just shut up, Connor," he spoke lightly. "I'm sorry for getting frustrated."

I shook my head, "You literally have nothing to be sorry for dumbass. I'm sorry for being stupid."

"Can we both just be sorry?"

"But Troye, you have nothing-" he covered my mouth before I could finish.

" _Connor._  I said, shut up," he laughed quietly. We stood still for a while, or so I thought, until I realized he was slowly leaning in.

"Can I kiss you?" he uttered softly, when his face was mere centimeters from mine. I blushed hard, finding it sweet he asked for permission. The moment I meekly nodded, he connected our lips softly, making me jump out of surprise. I quickly recovered, and looped my arms around his neck, involuntarily letting out a sigh. He grinned in amusement, and pushed against my lips harder, crashing me against the door.

He pulled away quickly. "Sorry! Are you okay?" he fretted over me, hands on my shoulders. His concern made me blush deeper. I looped arms around his neck again, and pulled him back to me, recolliding our lips in response. He settled his hands on my waist, pulling me even closer. His mouth was gentle as it moved against mine. I felt as if I was melting, my knees going weak. My mouth felt numb, and I was quickly running out of air, but I didn't exactly mind. Finally, Troye slowly pulled away, and leaned his forehead against mine. He pecked my lips one more time, before pulling completely away. He laughed sweetly, and grabbed my hands swinging them slowly, interlacing our fingers. The last couple of minutes didn't sink in until just now. I laughed to myself at how ridiculous the situation was. One minute we were yelling at each other, and the next we were kissing.

"I'm tired," I yawned quietly, the jetlag and exhaustion of the previous events catching up to me. Troye nodded in agreement and walked to the bed Zoe had set up for the guest room, and tugged on my arms, pulling me down next to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into the familiar position of him resting his head on my chest, my hands playing with his hair, and our legs tangled together.

"I'm crazy about you too, Connie," he murmured, nuzzling his head further into my chest. I felt the familiar butterflies return. The familiar heartache. The familiar loss of breath. But this time, it was because I knew he returned my feelings, and I didn't have to avoid him any more.


End file.
